A very dear and close friend, who knows me very well (sometimes I think, “too well”) had the courage to challenge me and call me on an area of my life that needs addressing. He was right to do so!
He challenged me to examine my relationship with God, in particular, “do I trust God” in all aspects of my life. The bottom line is that I don’t trust HIM in all aspects of my life. When “things” don’t go the way I want sometimes, in work, business, money, life in general and even relationships, after I ask and seek God’s guidance and grace and am still not satisfied with the direction things are going or the outcome of events or actions and decisions of others, rather than accept it as God’s Plan, I sometimes take my own path to “get what I want.”
The problem is that sometimes in the process of “trying to get what I want” I go off the right path, compromise myself and get into GREY AREAS, rationalizing that my actions are justified b/c the “end result justifies the means.” What a crock of crap! It is amazing how far I will go to “justify” my actions and how I can convince myself that it’s “OK” if I tell a “white lie” here and there, exaggerate to help my cause, not reveal the complete truth. This has come up in business and relationships.
My friend’s approach, which I truly admire, is everything is either BLACK or WHITE. There is no “GREY AREA” as a Christian. The reason his advice is so compelling for me is b/c I know he was beginning to venture into “grey areas” recently and realized mid-stream that is not what he wanted to do. His trust in God allows him to approach everything in his life as strictly BLACK AND WHITE and he has learned to trust that at that point you simply “turn it All over to God.”
I have not achieved that level of Trust in God yet in my faith journey………….but I truly aspire to that.
I find myself sometimes “negotiating or bargaining” with God, which if I am completely honest w/ myself, is completely absurd and so inappropriate. I will give you an example. I may at one moment be very generous by donating money to the homeless, or donating Blood and Platelets to the blood bank which I do on a regular basis. But if I have recently been wronged or mistreated in business or even been cheated in business, I might use that incident to justify moving into the Grey Area by “getting even” with the world by possibly not being completely honest w/ someone else justifying “I deserve it.” Plus I might even rationalize that since I was generous in other areas, my actions “in the grey area” kind of balances out, if I try to get revenge for being wronged…….(when I actually write this down, it is very embarrassing)
I am ashamed to admit this but the point is my friend “called me on it” b/c he has “seen me at my worse.” Yet he chose to try and help me “see the light.”
There is a presentation about the “10 Things God Won’t ASK You On THAT Day.” My favorite is:
“God won’t ask what your highest salary was.
He’ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it”
So, I am praying today to ask Jesus to please help me be completely aware of those times when I start to move into my ‘grey area’ justifying my actions. I won’t become the perfect Christian instantly but I am committed to continue to work on “me” so I can keep improving. My goal is to be able TRUST God enough to view all aspects of my life in simple BLACK AND WHITE Terms and eliminate ‘grey’ altogether.
I would also like to thank my friend for caring enough to challenge me.
